From the comments I've received, several readers have a problem with what I posted regarding the Too Cute Family. That my comments could be hurtful. Or, what if I should one day come down with a chronic illness, who would listen to me moan and groan about it? (I'm paraphrasing but the original comments are in the post below).
So, my looking at photos of children is my payment to others so that they'll listen to me moan and groan? Number one, I do have a chronic illness. I have it, but it doesn't have me. Number two, I don't moan and groan about it or bore people with details. Most people don't even know.
What inspired my original post was receiving the link to a family website that had 23 pages. Correction: 23 pages of thumbnails...each photo, about a dozen per page, had to be individually clicked on to view it. One reader said that it is easy to ignore websites (again, I'm paraphrasing the original comment). Not so in this age of stat counters that show where traffic comes from, ISP used, browser, etc. If you try to fake it "That one of Timmy going down the slide backwards was so cute," and that was the only photo you looked at, they come back with "Didja see the one of Susie with the clown, and the one of Timmy eating the snow cone, and the one..."
Most of the parents that I know, especially those with young children, seem to be making this photo thing a hobby. Scrapbooks, websites, email attachments, photos by the dozens when you meet them at the grocery store. I truly don't get it. And I am truly bored by it. I love hearing what my friends are up to, but it seems that all many of them are up to is photographing their children's every move. I asked a woman that I know "So, what have you been up to?" "I'm exhausted! All I do is take the kids to karate, soccer, swimming, art classes, gymnastics, drama, Kindermusic," etc., etc., etc. Sad that so many parents give up having a life once they have children. One can still have interests besides having children, without neglecting them. What a concept!
One website showed a little girl wearing not less than 15 outfits, mainly dresses. I remarked to the mother "Susie sure has a lot of dresses!" The mom then confides that Susie may only have one or two dresses...she "buys" clothing, hides the tags, has her daughter photographed in the clothing, and then returns the items to the store. Incredible. Seeing my shocked expression, she says "Oh, all the moms do it!" Not all the moms. It never occurred to me.
My beef is with the constant barage of photos, and videos. Being invited to the homes of some people for a meal ends up being pizza on our laps while watching videos of the Too Cute Family, and having to "oooh" and "aaah" over the videos. Then there are the video links to youtube they want us to watch. Don't these folks have a life? What are they going to do when these children grow up and don't want to be dressed up and photographed anymore? What are the parents going to do when the kids leave home? Kids do grow up, and too fast. I think that those are likely the parents who will suffer big time from the empty nest syndrome. And may be the meddling in-laws, destined to become out-laws.
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4 comments:
True, not much to argue about in the examples you provide. There has to be balance and I have yet to run across anyone that egregious. (Do different social groups evolve their own norms on this kind of thing?) And sorry to snark on illness - no offense was intended, just trying to make the point that we can give people a little grace for getting overly into something that's really important to them. It's hard to keep the perfect modulation for everybody all the time (i.e., I have sent pics to certain relatives and friends infrequently and get bugged about doing more). But there is no excuse for a cross-examination about the offered photo array.
As for the dress-returning mom, I have never known anyone to do this either. Sounds a bit like a delinquent trying to convince a reluctant friend that "everybody" shoplifts. Ethically questionable and definitely pathetic.
Anyway, I have been enjoying your snarky observations after being cued in by fellow members of the Rosemond parenting site.
I write from MY perspective, no anyone else's. I'm tired of being hounded by photographs of kids by parents who apparently have nothing better to do with their life. No excuse for the cross examination? That's narcissistic thinking on your part. This blog is not written with your perspective in mind, what you think should or should not be said. This blog, as I wrote in my first post, is a wake up call to parents who are doing these things, and those who aren't even trying to parent. Parents who let their kids hit them, kids screaming at their parents.
Incidentally, it seems that the kids who are photographed obsessively by their parents (usually the mothers) tend to be the brattiest. Whiney, demanding, petulant.
Sorry that you think there is no excuse for some parts of MY blog. You're free to write your own.
this is a bit off the subject, but thought you might find it interesting: my 16 yo daughter has a facebook page. She was showing it to me when I noticed one of her friends from school had over 200 photos of himself on his page. I asked if he had done something special, like go to Europe, but she said no, the pictures were just of him "doing stuff." I asked if she had looked at all 200 & she said she quit after about 10 cause it was so boring. I told her to think about that if she was considering putting up any pictures of herself.
I'm very sorry, my sentence was confusing - I meant to say I was completely agreeing with you that someone who puts up pictures and sends them to someone else should never then "cross-examine" the recipient to determine whether they had actually examined all of the pictures, like the "and did you see this one and this one." Argh, now I feel terrible. I'll now attempt to bow out of here gracefully...
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