I think I've become a vegetarian...

I don't eat a lot of meat as it is. After my last trip to the grocery store, I think that I'll be eating even less. A woman and her two kids (okay, I'll correct that, because someone will surely write to me and ask "How do you know that they were her two kids?)...A woman and two kids, who appeared to be about 3 and 6 years, were in the meat aisle of the store. I was thinking how unsanitary it was for the kids to be placing their hands in the meat cooler and then touching their faces...e.coli and salmonella thoughts were running through my head.

That's when I noticed the older boy had a very snotty nose and wiped it with his hand frequently. That's when I noticed that many packages of meat, especially the hamburger, had small holes. The older boy was using his snotty fingers to innoculate the meat in the case with his germs. I am fairly certain that the mother knows he did this. Her peripheral vision can't be that bad. I spoke up with "Um, I don't think you want to poke your fingers into the raw meat. You could get sick!"

His mother tells me "Oh, he's already sick. He's staying home from school because he has a cold and infected throat." I put the pot roast back into the meat case.

I said, well raw meat could have some dangerous germs that could make him even sicker, but she just laughed. I added "Wow, a lot of holes are in these packages of meat," but mommy says nothing. The kid grins and says that poking holes in the hamburger is the most fun because it "squishes." I don't think I like hamburger anymore.

I couldn't just walk off and say/do nothing. I let the meat manager know what had happened, and that the mom reported that the kid had a cold and infected throat. "His ass will be infected if I catch him doing that!" Then he sighed and took a cart out to collect the poked meat. I counted 20 packages.

Later I wondered, what happened to that meat? Was it thrown out? Was it repackaged and put back into the case? Ick.

From time to time, I pick up hotdogs from the case with teeth marks. I don't think that's a clever marketing gimmick. I've picked up apples and banannas with teeth marks as well. I have seen kids old enough to know better using their fingernails to leave nail marks in fruit. I've seen parents allowing their children to play with the candy that they have no intentions of buying. If me or one of my siblings had done such a thing, back in draconian days, we would have regretted it, and we'd still be remembering the lesson.

I remember the good old days when candy was behind a glass counter to keep kids from stealing or damaging it. Too bad that that there isn't a way to do that now with foods that can be damaged by children. But what is really too bad is parents who don't control their children. Who allow them to express themselves any way they want. They'll have a rather rude awakening one day and will probablly wonder why their parents never taught them better.

"My kid is so cute!!!!"

That's what parents must be thinking. I say parents, but I mean mothers. I've never seen a father do this...at school, that is.

From time to time, a friend or neighbor will ask me, for various reasons, if I can drop their kids off at school. I have to take my son to school in the same direction, so I don't mind. Today was one of those days, and I yet again experienced the "My kid is so cute!!!" mommy.

In every carpool line I've ever had to be in, beginning when my son was in preschool, there are mommies who have to adoringly watch their offspring from the moment they get out of the car until they are inside. Usually they're waving bye bye to their child and the child doesn't even know it, as they are walking up the sidewalk and cannot see mommy's beaming face and waves.

I'm not talking about watching a child walk into school because there is no other adult around. There are usually 2-4 adults on duty to help kids out of the car, carry projects, and so on. But these mommies sit there, while the carpool line is backed into highway, waiting to enter the school driveway. They sit there waving and beaming like they're never going to see the child again. They don't care that other parents need to get to work, or that they are holding up the line.

Today, this happened again, at a middle school at that. I had one more child to drop off at the high school, and 3 minutes to spare. There I encountered yet another Beaming Mommy. Middle school! Mommy sits there waving at her daughter's back, the entire time the girl walked to the door. I gently nudged my horn, to let her know that someone else was waitiing. Her beam turned to a scowl and she waved at me, but only with one finger. Then proceeded to drive away as slowly as she could, just to be a pain. Thank God I don't have to live with such a painful person.

Dear parent, why do you do this? I should say Dear Mom, because I have never observed a male adult do something so odd. Now, if he was dropping off his daughter at a library, mall, movies, etc., I could see sitting there to make sure she got safely inside. But at school, with other adults around whose job it is to make sure the students are safely seen into the building?

Dear Mom: Get a life!

Anonymous Parent

I'm baaaack!

Thanks for the comments and the emails, asking when I would post again. I only post when I have something to say about my experiences. In the past month or so, I haven't had many experiences to write about. I work from home and am on deadline to finish my book manuscript by June. So, in addition to working, writing, and tending to the home fires, there has not been a lot of time for blogging.



But, I do have an experience to relate. So I will now get to that. New post coming shortly...



Anonymous Parent

New blog

I started a new blog today, it is self explanatory. Your thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!

Dear Teen

Anonymous Parent

This blog is not abandoned!

I've had some comments and emails asking when I will post again. My day job comes first and once I've caught up with work and obligations, I will resume posting...within the week. Thanks for reading!

Anonymous Parent

Taking your kid to work

Dear Parent,

I do not like it when you bring your kids to work. I work from home and I do not like it when I have to put my work on hold to keep your child safe and out of my things while you take care of plumbing problems, fix my washing machine, or whatever you are in my home to do. I especially did not like the painter who brought his son into our under-construction house. Your son stepped in paint and then walked all over the wood floors and up the stairs. Why was he upstairs? Why was he in my home to begin with? And why couldn't you have cleaned up the paint?

I do not like it when a child is brought to my home, and then informed that said child is afraid of dogs. "Could you put your dog in the bathroom?" No, I can't. He knows a stranger is in my home and he wants to be near me. YOU can take your child home. "I'm givin' the missus a break, I take him with me when I have to make calls so that she can have some peace." Give me a break! When my child was young, I didn't take him to my spouse's office when I needed a break. I sucked it up and did my job. You are here to do a job, and I am not a free babysitter. And I don't want my bathroom destroyed by my dog so that your child can run around my home. Sorry that you had to take your child home. But I write the check, I write the rules. I'm just odd that way.

Speaking of dogs, Dear Parent, my neighbor was not amused when the roofer brought not only his 3-year-old son to the job site, but his dog. The lab decided my puppy looked like a tasty snack. I couldn't enjoy sitting outside because your dog wanted to attack my puppy. And Dear Parent, knowing that the home that you were roofing was on the water, what made you even think about bringing your young child? You couldn't possibly watch him. I know, because he was constantly in my yard and at my back door, wanting me to play with him, or get him juice. This 3-year-old was unattended all morning while you worked on the roof. After lunch, he was unattended until it was too dark for you to work. I could tell when you arrived the next day that you were not happy that the neighbor and I asked that you keep your dog and child at home. Blaring your horn at 6:30 a.m. is so immature. Blasting the music on your boom box was annoying. But karma can be a bitch. A lot of homes were damaged in the Hurricane. The neighbor and I did not give you a good recommendation when asked. We simply said "He brought his 3-year-old to the job site, and his dog, and he blasted his music. If you choose to use him, you might want to make sure that he leaves his family at home."

Those are not the only instances in which service people have brought their children to the job site. Maybe it is custom in this general area, who knows. But it is not a local custom in which I want to participate. It is rude, and it is not safe for your child. Several years ago, didn't you read in the newspaper about the 3-year-old who strangled to death in his carseat straps while his dad and grand dad cut wood for the family business? They said that they checked on him every 10 minutes while he watched a DVD. I'm not buying that. In any case, their child paid the ultimate price because the missus needed a break.

In times past, children often worked at the knee of their parents. They learned skills and a trade this way. If you can figure out how to roof a house while teaching your 3-year-old the trade, and keep him safe, and not bother the homeowners and neighbors, great! If you can teach a child to fix a washing machine or paint a room and keep him from destroying the home and aggravating the owners, great! But don't expect us to babysit, feed, and toilet your child. That's what God invented babysitters for if the missus isn't up to it.

Regards,

Anonymous Parent and had-it-up-to-here homeowner

Hang up and parent

Most of us see them every day, cell phone users who driving while under the influence of technology. Sometimes it is just annoying being behind someone who is driving too slowly while concentrating on their phone call. Other times it is downright dangerous, such as the clown who nearly plowed into us when he ran a red light.

And like the times Dear Mommy is walking from the parking lot to the store yakking on her cell while Dear Toddlers toddle around and nearly get hit by cars. Or when Dear Daddy is walking down the street with his Dear Daughter. He's so engrossed in his cell phone conversation that he crosses the street without looking, holding his daughter's hand. It was a difficult near miss. Dad stopped his conversation long enough to flip the bird. Nice lessons for your daughter there, Dad. Walk across streets without looking for traffic, flip off driver who nearly hits you.

And then there's the Dear Mommy in the grocery store parking lot with a toddler in her lap and a cell phone at her ear. She doesn't see the elderly lady and her companion already crossing to the parking lot from the store and barely misses hitting them. When asked "Do you know that you nearly ran over two people while you were talking on the phone?" she has no clue. And driving with a toddler in her lap shows that she's either more clueless, or just irresponsible.

(Someone will likely ask "Didn't you call the police?" about the mom with toddler in her lap while driving. Yes. And they promised to send someone out to check on it. But by then, Dear Mommy was in the store shopping.)

Here's an idea: A Surgeon's Warning label on cell phones: "Driving and talking is hazardous to your health and the health of others. Hang up and drive." Everyone thinks that they "can handle it," but probably have no clue they may have nearly caused an accident. Reacting to a situation is delayed while talking on the phone. And seconds can be the difference between a "that was close!" and disaster.

Maybe a label reminding parents to keep an eye on their kids while chatting, too. But if someone can't remember the basics of looking before crossing a street, and watching your kids in the parking lot, then labels probably wouldn't do any good.

Parenting in The Twilight Zone

One of the things that I love about this time of year is watching the Twilight Zone marathon. As I was watching yesterday afternoon, there was an interesting episode, titled It's a Good Life.

It was the story of a six-year-old boy who did not like it if people thought "bad thoughts" about him. He destroyed anyone or anything that he didn't like, or caused him any upset. No matter what bad thing he did, including hurting animals, he was told "That's a good thing you did."

Reminds me a lot of kids and parents today. Parents tiptoe around their kids, afraid to cause them any bad feelings. If a child never feels bad about it when he does wrong or hurts someone, he won't be a very pleasant individual to be around, to say the least. Some "parenting experts" have written that parents shouldn't make kids feel bad about their misbehavior. How about that? I wonder if they really believe that? Who in society does not feel bad about hurting others? Sociopaths! Sociopaths feel no empathy, no remorse, no shame.

Sometimes we have to make children feel bad about their misbehavior. Ignoring the misbehavior isn't helpful to them, or to society. Parents have an obligation to raise their children to benefit society. By not doing so, we run the risk of turning kids into little monsters. And little monsters grow up to be big monsters.

Wrong about Helen Keller...

An email from a reader tells me "Your facts about Helen Keller are wrong. She did have speech! So why bring her up?"

Helen Keller was born a normal baby. By the time she was 19 months old, she was very ill and not expected to survive. Some today think that she may have had scarlet fever or meningitis. It was soon discovered that she was deaf, blind, and she did not have speech.

The family sought help for Helen when she was about 6 years old, and Annie Sullivan came into her life. Before Ms. Sullivan could teach Helen, she had to tame Helen's wild ways. Speech was not an early part of her training; Ms. Sullivan used her fingers to spell out words into Helen's hands.

When Helen was 9 or 10 years old, she and Annie Sullivan went to live at the Perkins Institution, where Annie Sullivan had had her training. Mary Swift Lamson attempted to teach Helen to speak, but Helen never attained normal speech. The following link says "This was something that Helen desperately wanted and although she learned to understand what somebody else was saying by touching their lips and throat, her efforts to speak herself proved at this stage to be unsuccessful. This was later attributed to the fact that Helen’s vocal chords were not properly trained prior to her being taught to speak."

article: The Life of Helen Keller

Now what I wonder is, why does it matter if Helen spoke or not in later life? The fact remains, Helen was wild, spoiled, and undisciplined. She had to first be civilized before she could be taught anything. The same with many kids today. Many teachers write that they can't teach because they first have to first teach manners, teach kids to sit quietly and listen, to take direction from an adult. They have to teach them to enter a room quietly.

If Helen Keller, with three handicaps, can be civilized, why can't today's children be civilized? I remember sitting in a park some years ago listening to a mother go on and on about how gifted her kid was, how he was a champ in everything he did. As she spoke, His Giftedness was bullying the younger kids on the playground and letting air out of bike tires. He may have been gifted. But he was an ill-mannered brat.