...There wasn't anything I could do about it.

I received an email from the mother of a 3-year-old. Mom writes "My daughter was a diva for Halloween, too. But there wasn't anything I could do about it. She saw the diva outfit in a costume store and demanded it. She cried and carried on when I showed her some other darling costumes. Sometimes, we have to pick our battles and give in to kids when they truly want something. It doesn't make them spoiled. She loves her costume so much that I can't get her to wear anything else."

She isn't spoiled? She demands what she wants, and mom gives in to keep the peace. She won't wear anything else? Alrighty then. I hope mom is saving now for the caretaker she may need in her old age.

I disagree that mom "couldn't do anything about it." If my child had pitched a fit in a store, we'd leave without having purchasing anything. Been there, done that.

How about just bringing home what you want them to wear, or helping the child to make a costume? You might not win the approval of the other moms, but so what? Does their approval mean anything? Will the world end without it? Think of what is good for your family, not how it looks to others.

Mom, your clue phone is ringing...the rest of the world is not going to give in to your daughter's demands. You need to become an authority in her life before she goes to school. She needs to learn to listen, to take "no" for an answer, and to be obey authority figures. Before she can grow up, you need to grow up and become the parent. YOU should not be kowtowing to your child.

A mom who thinks that there's nothing she can do about a child who is demanding needs a reality check. She should keep reading this blog.

* Note to readers: Thanks for the comments on this blog and for the emails. I promise to respond to them all as quickly as possible. And yes, I do intend to "rock on." Thanks!

"My daughter is a diva"

I saw a cute little girl dressed for Halloween at a mall not too long ago. I asked her what her costume was...not really a princess, but something girly. Her mother haughtily replies "My daughter is a diva." I've been hearing diva this and diva that for the past year and it seems to be catching on like wildfire. An Internet search on diva shows a "Camp Diva" website which says that the Diva Campers have "...a light in their eye, a spring in their step, a positive outlook on life. She is a divine goddess." Alrighty then. I wonder if these "divine goddesses" have chores, wait their turn, and do their own homework? Do divine goddesses even go to school? I can imagine a classroom of divine goddesses. Do divine goddesses need math, history, and English?

I cannot imagine uttering the words "My daughter is a diva." Does that make them more special than non-divas?

I asked several women with daughters if they've heard of this diva thing. "Heard of it? OMG, we live with it!" I wanted to ask why they live with it, but thought maybe they were diva wannabees or they had to keep up with the other moms. My daughter is more diva than your daughter, I guess. One mom told me about a website that has ideas for diva parties, and her daughter wants "everything on the website, and everything pink, for her party." I bet she wants diva-worthy gifts as well. What does one get a diva for her eleventh birthday? After spending "only $500" on a party, she still wants gifts. Amazing. Whatever happened to cake and ice cream and playing outside with friends?

I think of the divas of today and wonder how they will treat their elderly parents one day. I can't imagine a diva cleaning up after mom and dad, changing them, helping them to eat. If a child is elevated to diva and "divine goddess" status as children, what on earth kind of adults will they be? Expect to be waited on, instead of volunteering in their community? Time will tell, but a diva by any other name seems to be adding up to "spoiled child." The kids may be having fun now, but spoiled kids generally grow up to be unpleasant people to be around.