Thanksgiving from hell

Below is an email, reprinted with permission, that I received from a reader. Dear Parent, wake up! Teach your kids how to be a guest in someone else's home! Teach them manners...teach them to use an inside voice...teach them to not go upstairs unless given permission...teach them that a closed door means that they are to NOT enter unless invited to do so. I, too, have had guests with children who seem to think that, since we invited them, that we should put up with their children's bad behavior. It isn't cute, Dear Parent. It isn't amusing.


Dear Anonymous Parent,

I first read your blog a little over a week ago and, at first, I didn't like it. I thought you were one of those people who hate kids or something! I am due to give birth to our first child in six weeks, and am in the stage where anything to do with kids is of interest to me. Until Thanksgiving Day...

We decided, since we are soon to be parents, that we would have families come to our home for the Thanksgiving meal. We invited family and friends to come early to watch the parade on TV and have hot cocoa and doughnuts.

About an hour before the meal was to be served, I noticed that it had become quiet. I didn't see many of the children around. I thought that perhaps they were outside. I went upstairs to rest for a few minutes and to change my clothes. When I went upstairs, I heard noise from the nursery, which is all ready for the new baby. Six children were in the nursery (the door had been closed, and, when I grew up, one did not enter a room if the door was closed. We thought that was a rule that everyone respected!). I had about a dozen or so wrapped baby gifts that had not yet been opened, as well as wrapped Christmas presents for family. These children had opened the gifts and played with them, strewing paper and boxes everywhere. Two children had climbed into the crib and jumped up and down, and had pulled down the mobile. The bassinet was turned over, and there were muddy footprints all over the carpet. I called my husband to come up and he was shocked at the mess. He brought their parents upstairs to view the damage, while I went on to my room regroup, de-stress, and change my clothes. There were several preteens lying on my bed, watching my TV, and eating snacks, which they had spilled. I nearly lost it right then and there. I didn't know things were going to get even worse...

My mom had been helping me to prepare food for our guests. I asked her to come up and remove the older kids and take them to their parents. I went into my bathroom, and met the worst mess I've ever seen. One of the four year olds, a girl, had had a bowel movement. She wiped herself and threw the paper into the toilet. But then she removed the messy, wet paper and applied it to the walls of the bathroom, which had just been wallpapered. The wet mess seeped down the paper and under the baseboard trim. There were pieces of messy papered stuck all over the walls, the back of the door, the vanity, and the shower glass door.

The parents of this little girl said to my husband and myself that we will soon know what it is like to be parents. They laughed and said how "creative" their daughter is. The did not offer to clean up the mess, nor did they offer to reimburse us for having to have the room cleaned and papered.

I probably handled it very badly...I asked everyone to go home. I couldn't deal with a wrecked house (we didn't expect it to remain immaculate, we knew things would be spilled and were okay with normal wear and tear). We had to pay a company to come in and clean up the bathroom, and it will have to be repapered.I have never experienced this level of disrespect. The adults seem to have the "kids will be kids" attitude.

I am determined to raise my child to be respectful, and, when we go out with our child, to know where our child is and what he/she is doing.

Thanks for writing your blog. I hope more parents read it and take it to heart. If someone made a movie out of what our Thanksgiving Day was like, I don't think people would believe it. I am still stunned that parents think that rude, disrespectful, and damaging behavior is okay!

Sincerely,

a new reader