"No" at the mall

Circumstances almost beyond my control had me in two places that, on normal days, would be no problem. But this wasn't a normal day...it was Christmas Eve. And the places were a mall and a grocery store. Perfect places and time to observe human nature, however, and I had plenty to observe. First, the mall.

I never eat at food courts. Over-priced artery clogging fare is not my idea of food. But I was being treated by the person whom I had given a ride to the mall. Fortunately, I was able to find something that wouldn't trigger an intestinal upset.

As I'm eating with the person who had needed a ride to the mall to do some last-minute shopping, a little boy of about 6 had been running around several tables and grabbing food from the trays of those with whom he was sitting (when he sat). He then runs by our table and attempts to grab food from my tray. Knowing what he had been doing, I lifted my tray in time and told him "No, this is my food." Hearing no, he reacted violently by kicking my table and then threw himself to the floor and screamed.

His mother comes over and talks to him soothingly about the "bad person" who told him no, to come back to the table and she'd give him some cookies. She then looks at me and tells me "He's an Aspie." I asked her what that meant. "You should educate yourself! And you should learn that they have rights!" I asked if Aspie's had the right to snatch food off of the tables of total strangers.

Here's a clue for the Mom of Aspie: We all have rights. And we all have responsibilities. And we all have obligations. I didn't say that to Mom of Aspie, though. I asked her a question:

Are you familiar with the story of Helen Keller?

She said yes, she'd read the book as a child and had seen the movie.

So I asked her about Helen's early life before Annie Sullivan arrived. Did she remember what Helen was like?

Mom of Aspie's face drained of color but she didn't say anything. I reminded her that Helen had been described by family and friends as "wild, like an animal." She grabbed food from the plates of those she dined with. She ran around and knocked things to the floor. She'd hit and scratch if she didn't get her way, so she always got her way. And her father began to recognize that this could not go on, and so he looked for someone to help Helen.

Annie Sullivan is often called The Miracle Worker, and is believed by some to have used behavior modification before anyone else. Those who know the story know that Helen went on to do great things for the rest of her life, accomplishing more than many people who were not Deaf, mute, and blind.

If a child who had that many handicaps can overcome them and become world-famous, responsible, and a help to others, why cannot the children of today who are labeled Bipolar, ADD/ADHD, ODD, Aspie, and so on be trained and worked with so that they, too, can accomplish great things? Will drugging them and letting them get away with mistreating other people truly help them? Will it help society?

I would advise that parents get and read a copy of any of the books on Helen Keller's life and apply the methods she used to civilize a Deaf, mute and blind child.

About this blog...

Dear Parent,

This blog is about you. I am a parent as well. I am sick and tired of your kids bad behavior. Unruly children disrupting other diners in restaurants. Neighborhood bullies. Kids who kill animals. Kids who kill other kids. Kids who terrorize their classroom. Are your children addicted to TV, computers, video games, drugs, alcohol?

Where are you, Dear Parent? Are you yakking on the phone to all your friends? Are you on the computer, oblivious to your children? Are you working to buy more stuff to give your kids to keep them out of your hair? Here's your clue phone ringing: They don't NEED more stuff. They need YOU. They need a routine, structure, and parents with the balls to just say NO.

Your kids need chores. They need to know what responsibility is. They need parents who are adults and make the decisions. They need a normal bedtime, not out running the strets at all hours.

You have to work to buy groceries, pay the rent/mortgage? Fine. This blog is not about bashing parents. THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL! While you work, do you know where your kids are? Are the supervised? Do they have chores, are they doing their homework? Or are their brains being addled by electronic media?

I know that many parents are not raising their kids properly. For those who are doing it right, this blog is not about you, so save your umbrage. How do I know that many parents are not raising their kids right? Keep reading this blog and you will see what I mean. Stay tooned...